Breath

Breathe in. What do you do when the very thing that is meant to help you can also kill you? Breathe out. According to my nurse, about 15% of patients who get iron infusions react to them. A reaction can range from a tickle in the throat and rashes to more serious reactions. Breathe in.… Continue reading Breath

Forgiven

I have a beautifully worded tweet as my cover image on my Facebook page that contains the words, "The glory of God is Black people alive." When I first saw it, I drank in each word of the sentence. Memorized each curve of every letter. I often share and fall in love with beautiful statements… Continue reading Forgiven

Interlocked

Two weeks ago I went to get new waist beads, a ceremony that has marked moments in my life over the past five years. Browns, yellows, whites, greens, chakras and beads adorning my waist, grounding me in the beauty and brokenness of life. Last week when I was showering, I noticed that all my beads… Continue reading Interlocked

Everything Can Wait

Yemaya, The moon is full and I am overflowing with the myriad things inside me. I drench myself in blues around my waist and feel the weight of beads against my skin. Cool to the touch they ground me in you as the tides get higher. Yemaya, Please see me. Walking toward you sideways through… Continue reading Everything Can Wait

I don’t know how to do this.

I think about June Jordan's words too often: "And what shall we do, we who did not die?" Some of us did not die. I reside in a liminal space of feeling deeply grateful for the ways my body has carried me through the pandemic, especially as it has been carrying me more than I… Continue reading I don’t know how to do this.

Today I Went to the Doctor and Cried II

On Thursday night I spent 12 hours in the emergency room at Highland Hospital. I had forgotten how cold and lonely the ER is, waiting in old chairs under fluorescent lights, anxiety high, clutching my bag, mask on, avoiding contact with others, and waiting for my name to be called. I'm someone who believes in… Continue reading Today I Went to the Doctor and Cried II

Today I Went to the Doctor and Cried

It takes me a walk, a BART, and another walk to get to my doctor's office in the city. It's not a long journey for a carless person used to public transit, but over the years it's felt like a light year away. I love my current doctor. She is kind, clearly communicates with me,… Continue reading Today I Went to the Doctor and Cried

A Requiem for Rest and Life

This morning I woke up to multiple messages of folk checking in on me, saying they were thinking of George Floyd and wondering how I was doing, how I've been. I let the phone fall from my fingers, my thoughts mired in the space that for those who are not often in communication with me,… Continue reading A Requiem for Rest and Life

Healing in the Middle

Linear time and progress is one of the most harmful lies of white supremacy. Some things permanently alter you. Sometimes the world does stop. For me in 2016 when my life crashed and veered from a singular event, I expected that my relationship with it would be one that the farther I got from it,… Continue reading Healing in the Middle