Some Leaves are Still Green

The dracaena fragrans, or corn plant, is a popular house plant because of how tall it can grow and its relatively easy care routine. I got my first around 2020, a year that house plants would give many of us a much needed distraction in the face of shelter in place orders. At the time… Continue reading Some Leaves are Still Green

The Art of Plane Crying

If there was a frequent flyer program for crying on airplanes, I would always fly first class. I can't remember when I first decided that these steel birds were the perfect environment for heart-wrenching tears, but they have been the primary setting for some of my deepest (and loudest) sobs in life. Perhaps it's because… Continue reading The Art of Plane Crying

For 32: The Practice of Letting Go

Thirty-three. A year many refer to as your "Jesus Year." Scholars believe that 33 is the year that Jesus started a spiritual and political revolution that led to his crucifixion. It's a year meant to put you on a different path than the ones you were on before. The year you put the things together… Continue reading For 32: The Practice of Letting Go

“Healing is a promise.”

Two weeks ago I walked into my hair salon and let my hairdresser Opal chop my hair off. Two weeks before that, I had been washing my hair and cried as clumps of it easily wound its way around my hand as I rinsed conditioner out of my hair. I'd been losing hair for more… Continue reading “Healing is a promise.”

Love notes to my body and the slow work of God

I begin my days with the start of the prayer of Teilhard de Chardin: Above all, trust in the slow work of God. Time is something that moves slowly these days. Time between the next blood draw, the next doctor's visit, the next thing to change about my daily routine to adapt to new realities.… Continue reading Love notes to my body and the slow work of God

Breath

Breathe in. What do you do when the very thing that is meant to help you can also kill you? Breathe out. According to my nurse, about 15% of patients who get iron infusions react to them. A reaction can range from a tickle in the throat and rashes to more serious reactions. Breathe in.… Continue reading Breath

Everything Can Wait

Yemaya, The moon is full and I am overflowing with the myriad things inside me. I drench myself in blues around my waist and feel the weight of beads against my skin. Cool to the touch they ground me in you as the tides get higher. Yemaya, Please see me. Walking toward you sideways through… Continue reading Everything Can Wait

Today I Went to the Doctor and Cried II

On Thursday night I spent 12 hours in the emergency room at Highland Hospital. I had forgotten how cold and lonely the ER is, waiting in old chairs under fluorescent lights, anxiety high, clutching my bag, mask on, avoiding contact with others, and waiting for my name to be called. I'm someone who believes in… Continue reading Today I Went to the Doctor and Cried II

Healing in the Middle

Linear time and progress is one of the most harmful lies of white supremacy. Some things permanently alter you. Sometimes the world does stop. For me in 2016 when my life crashed and veered from a singular event, I expected that my relationship with it would be one that the farther I got from it,… Continue reading Healing in the Middle