Breath

Breathe in. What do you do when the very thing that is meant to help you can also kill you? Breathe out. According to my nurse, about 15% of patients who get iron infusions react to them. A reaction can range from a tickle in the throat and rashes to more serious reactions. Breathe in.… Continue reading Breath

Everything Can Wait

Yemaya, The moon is full and I am overflowing with the myriad things inside me. I drench myself in blues around my waist and feel the weight of beads against my skin. Cool to the touch they ground me in you as the tides get higher. Yemaya, Please see me. Walking toward you sideways through… Continue reading Everything Can Wait

Today I Went to the Doctor and Cried II

On Thursday night I spent 12 hours in the emergency room at Highland Hospital. I had forgotten how cold and lonely the ER is, waiting in old chairs under fluorescent lights, anxiety high, clutching my bag, mask on, avoiding contact with others, and waiting for my name to be called. I'm someone who believes in… Continue reading Today I Went to the Doctor and Cried II

Healing in the Middle

Linear time and progress is one of the most harmful lies of white supremacy. Some things permanently alter you. Sometimes the world does stop. For me in 2016 when my life crashed and veered from a singular event, I expected that my relationship with it would be one that the farther I got from it,… Continue reading Healing in the Middle

“We Go Out for Sweets & Come Back”

Last night I tossed and turned, the air filled with a nightmare mix of air fresheners and bullets. This afternoon when I hit 'end' on my last call for the day, my body instantly doubled over, racked with uncontrollable tears, as I curled into a ball, holding myself and shaking. Daunte. Another name I should… Continue reading “We Go Out for Sweets & Come Back”

A White Man Called Me “Nigger” in the BART Station Yesterday

A white man called me 'nigger' in the BART station yesterday. He was standing alone on the platform. He watched me as I came down the escalators, hatred shining in his eyes as I drew closer. He glared at me and then he hurled the word out of his twisted mouth, as if he were spitting… Continue reading A White Man Called Me “Nigger” in the BART Station Yesterday

The Trust We Owe Ourselves

For far too long we have been seduced into walking a path that did not lead us to ourselves. For far too long we have said yes when we wanted to say no. And for far too long we have said no when we desperately wanted to say yes. . . . When we don't… Continue reading The Trust We Owe Ourselves

A Deliberate Life of Healing

While reading Terry Tempest Williams I came across this line: “Women piece together their lives from the scraps left over for them.” Young girls are too often socialized to think of their highest calling in life is to give freely of themselves to others. While there is nothing inherently wrong with living a life of… Continue reading A Deliberate Life of Healing